Psychotherapy · Dupont Circle, Washington D.C.
You've done the work.
Something's still unfinished.
Being Alive is the private practice of John Russell Stanger, LMFT. It's therapy for LGBTQ+ adults and couples, and for anyone carrying something about identity, faith, family, or a relationship that a well-built life hasn't quite resolved. You won't have to justify who you are first.
How I work
Serious about the work, relaxed in the room.
Beneath what brings you in
Symptoms like anxiety and depression matter, but meaning is where the work happens. We pay attention to what's under the surface, and to what it would take to shift or heal it.
The relationships that shaped you
Who we are is formed in relationship: with family, partners, the communities and faith we came from. We work with all of it, undoing shame where it took hold and reclaiming what was never broken to begin with.
Couples work that holds
For couples caught in the same argument, a kind of déjà vu they can't escape. This includes high-conflict patterns and repair after rupture or infidelity.
Who this is for
When life looks right but something still aches
The people I work best with are navigating something a well-built life hasn't resolved: a relationship that keeps catching on the same snag, a family that accepts you with an asterisk, a faith history that still feels fraught. These questions don't belong to any one kind of person, though LGBTQ+ clients, and those from restrictive religious backgrounds, often find I understand the particular shape theirs take. It's territory I know how to sit with, so we can begin where it actually hurts.
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
Mary Oliver
Services
Ways we can work together
Individual therapy
Insight-oriented work for adults carrying something unresolved: identity, family, the religion you were raised in, or a quiet sense that the life you built isn't the whole story.
Couples therapy
Structured, research-informed work for partners ready to build something better: repair after rupture or infidelity, high-conflict patterns, and relationships of every structure, including non-monogamous and polyamorous partnerships.
Discernment counseling
A short, structured process (typically 2–5 sessions) for couples who aren't sure whether to stay together. It's built to reach a clear-eyed decision about the relationship's future, not a fix.
Premarital counseling
Premarital counseling has a reputation for being a formality. It's actually a meaningful chance to find out what you've each quietly assumed about conflict, money, family, and monogamy, before you build a life on top of those assumptions.
Typically about five sessions.
A boutique, private-pay practice, kept intentionally small. Most of my clients are LGBTQ+ adults and couples. I don't bill insurance and I don't work from a diagnosis-driven model, but I can provide a superbill for out-of-network reimbursement.